i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
