My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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