And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
