i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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