is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
