tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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