i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
