O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize