I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize