bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
