just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
