just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Randomize
