Porn is love you can see.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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