I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize