We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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