When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
