do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
