Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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