the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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