Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
