we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Randomize
