not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
