i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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