So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
how does that bad decision feel?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
