new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Randomize
