remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
