pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
