Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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