yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
