sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
