I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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