i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
