This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
