Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
