I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
