I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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