I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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