last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Randomize
