My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize