My Higher Power is John Stamos
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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