i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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