I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
