that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
