I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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