i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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