uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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