Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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