i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
love makes seman taste better
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize