hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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