guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
