it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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