I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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