My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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