Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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