I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Watching her eat just hurts me
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
