Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
