Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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