With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I got inside last night via doggy door
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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