I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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