Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I look better un-naked...
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
