Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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