so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
