Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
