So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize