hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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